CoyoteUK

Steve, having finished work,was rushing to catch the train home. He was dashing along one of the busiest streets in London when the pain hit. The pain was deep in his gut and brought him to a sudden halt. "OMG...he thought, that prawn sandwich that I had for lunch!" Sweat broke out over his entire body and he lurched into a small alleyway...and it happened...the worst thing ever...he shit himself! The stench was terrible,but the pain subsided,leaving him with his light coloured chino's and even his white shirt covered in filth.He went onto the street,people were looking and holding their noses as they passed him.
He came to a clothing store and, his face crimson with embarrasment, tapped on the window.He finally attracted the attention of a shop assistant inside.She looked bemused as he beckoned her to open the door of the shop.
"Look I can't come in but could you get me a pair of joggers waist 36" and a T-shirt 48" chest?"
He offered her his chip and pin card..."Please hurry"
Finally, after what seemed an age, she returned, handed him a carrier bag and his card and said "Have a nice day!"
He ran for his train...his humiliation was unbearable...people staring and openly laughing at his predicament!
His train was at the platform and he ran in, finally finding the loo ...Phew!
He quickly stripped off the offending clothing,rolled it into a foul bundle,and started to clean himself up.
The train set off,soon gathering speed, and cleared the station.
He opened the window as best he could and threw the stinking bundle out onto the track.
"Finally" he thought.Standing naked, apart from socks and shoes.....
He opened the carrier bag to find a Ladies pink cardigan and a glittering G string inside....
"OH SHIT"