I have a theory: No matter who wants you to change
who you are you should always be who you are. Those that love us will
sometimes try to change us. If someone you love gives you some good
advice, there is nothing wrong with taking it. However if someone you
love DEMANDS you change something anything about your self just because
they want you to I think it may be a good idea to take a long hard look
at what their motives were. I had a man in my life about a decade ago
and he tried to change me. I loved him and wanted to be what he wanted
me to be. It was the worst mistake of my life, because the me he
wanted me to be was not in keeping with the me I was meant to be. It
caused so much upheaval in my feelings and personality that it made me
suicidal. If not for the intervention of another friend who has always
accepted me for who I am even when I get wound up and crazy I would not
be here today sharing my thoughts with you all. I would be in our
family plot with my parents, my sister and now my brother.
If
someone wants you to change to real you it is imperative you do not
just do it blindly. You need to look deeper and see what they would
get if you did make those changes, and then be yourself. Be the you
that you were always meant to be, because bottom line is when everyone
you have ever loved or ever THOUGHT loved you have either moved on or
died you will only have you to live with. It is important when it is
just you and yourself that you can stand to be around yourself. My ex
had me so messed up i did not see anything left to live for. Two
events changed that. The first was the second friend I mentioned who
to this day I still love like a brother. He was there to show me
everything was not what I thought it was. That helped me hold on to the
life I was about to throw away. The second event ironically enough
was the betrayal of another friend. She had also been there for me
at some bad times and I trusted her completely right up until the day
she betrayed me. You see I did not know it at the time but she herself
had gotten into one of those relationships where she allowed another to
change her, and to please this other person she betrayed my trust in
the worst way possible.
I crashed down mentally for around a
half and hour I had no concept of anything going on around me or of even
being in this world at all. About a half an hour according to the
lost time when I looked at the clock. I emerged from the mental
collapse. It was as if I had woken up from a long sleep into a
different world. Little by little I started noticing changes in my
personality. Well they were changes from what they had been since I
had met my ex, but I began to realize the changes were the real me
waking back up. It was as if the real me had been asleep and someone
else had been walking around in my life pretending to be me. I no
longer saw things the way the person my ex had changed me into saw them.
I saw things the way I had before I met him, and I have never one
time thought about killing myself again. I also decided that day that I
WOULD NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN! Like it or now I will NEVER change
who I am to please someone else unless I myself think it would be
better FOR ME.
I think everyone should be themselves and if
those in their life do not like it, that is their problem not yours,
because bottom line is YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOURSELF and no one else.
ALWAYS BE YOURSELF.
goddess_of_retribution
lid geworden:
REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SURVED COLD. COLD LIKE MY HEART HAS TURNED.
Last game
Evil Comes In Many Forms
We all have evil in us. Many of us hide it deep, but we are all capable of letting it show if someone turns up the heat or our emotions. I myself have a huge lake of evil inside me. When I am provoked I turn into something my own family would not recognize. The problem with such intense anger is it can turn into something much worse it can make what was once love turn into hate, and what was once your greatest joy turn into your worst pain. I made this screen name when I was in one of those low points. I was hurt, angry and out for revenge. Funny thing about revenge is it is a double edged sward. It will not only cut the intended victim it will also swing around and cut the person who sought to get even.
