Have you ever wondered why when some people get their feelings hurt even if it is unintentional, instead of telling the person they hurt their feelings they will make it their prime directive to hurt the feelings of the one that hurt them? Many times people will say or do something that is not meant to cause harm and not even know it did, because the person they hurt does not tell them.
Let me tell you all a story about something that happened about 15 years ago. My brother had picked on me most of my life. Many times I ended up crying. He thought he was just teasing me, but I love him so much when he said things like I was fat to me it cut like a knife. It all came to a head one Christmas. I was at his house and he started picking at me , but this year he had his wife and daughter picking at me too. When they got my niece involved it was the straw that broke the camels back. I decided I would need to make him understand how he made me feel somehow if I was to get him to stop. I probably should have done it year before, but I usually ended up crying. Took me about 15 min to come up with something I thought would work. Out of the blue and for no reason I said to him the meanest thing I could come up with. He looked at me in shock. He said you know that kinda hurt my feelings. He was not ready for my reply. I said GOOD! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS SUPOSED TO DO! Now you tell me how the hell does it feel to have someone you love hurt your feelings and not care that they did? Because that is what you have done to me for years. I told him you have been hurting my feelings for years and not cared you did it. He said, I was just teasing. I said NO when everyone is laughing it is teasing when one person is laughing and the other is crying it is not teasing. I told him he did not know how many times I cried myself to sleep because of things he said to me. He thought a little bit and he said if I made you feel like this I am sorry. My brother never says sorry, so that is progress. I told him you did and I accept the apology as long as it never happens again. He must have meant it because he will still tease me BUT the difference is when he sees the smile drop off my face he stops before I end up crying. It hurt me nearly as much as it did him but it worked we are better then we have been in years. Some men do have the ability to learn and make adjustments.
I dealt with so much mental pain because I did not speak up sooner. The moral of the story is if someone hurts your feelings TELL THEM WHEN THEY DO IT they may not know it hurt you.
Many do not just tell someone they hurt their feelings instead they set about to get revenge by hurting the one that hurt them. That is why there is so much animosity then need be. If I hurt someone's feelings I wish they would just tell me instead of running off all mad. Then getting madder when I ask why they leave. Something that could have been fixed easy gets blown up into something bigger. Then I feel the need to blog about it to calm myself back down so maybe I will be able to sleep.
